Turn back Time…

Have you had that one moment in life when you want to turn it all around and take it to a point which you want it to just cease and never come out of. Kind of like the scene from Inception, where time halts and everything is in your control. Well I do.. I would like to sometimes just turn back time and go to my school days… the best days of my life when I could be just ME and thats all that mattered. The time when I dint care of the prejudices, others opinions, the crazy things you could do, have samosas n chat with friends, giggle and gossip about the cute guys in the school, be bindaas about studies and hang around with your besties… I want that time back… and I want it so bad…

Oh yeah school was fun… I mean college was nice too, but I think school days for me is just “my fav zone”. Being naive and totally unaware of the world outside seemed so much more secure. It was like a cocoon, like life was so much happening in all good ways. Everyday was new, everyday there was something to be explored and not like “Gosh another day!!!” kinda expression. I miss sitting in the back bench and gossiping stuff about random schoolmates with my best friends, or wondering whose handwriting was better, or who slept in the Hindi class 🙂 or who scored better. Those days were golden…People mattered the most, not money, not score cards… Innocence was such a treasure back then. I wish I could be what I was then…

Scene change, fast forward 20 years: I see my cousins who want to get the hell out of school and eager to be into college. And the eagerness seems more to indulge in the silliest and lamest things imaginable. To be able to own a cellphone, take crappy selfies, wear fashionable stuff, be on all possible social media, imitate to be cool, and some non sense list like that. Makes me wonder if I am getting really “OLD” or is it that I just feel that most girls these days are just DUMB and self-obsessed. Watever it might be makes it hard for me to understand the perspective of the current generation. Its like everyone is becoming a “Attention seeker” and loosing an individualness in the process of monkeying someone else.

Final Verdict: I seriously would like to trade the present ME to someone I was 20 yrs ago. I was more happier and content…

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Great to be back…

Yahooooooo…. Look who’s back into the blogging circuit!!!!! (Not that anyone missed me dearly, but I think I had missed expressing myself.)

It feels so funny to type things out on this very page and my absence from the whole affair has one awesomely valid excuse – “Motherhood”.

Yes a lot has happened since my last post.. I am mother now to a very pretty daughter and my life is damn rushed up. I find it really hard to sit,concentrate and pen down things. I have like a train of thoughts that keep running in my head. Time is very precious, cos when I have it I just want to take a good nap or catch on some gossip over facebook. Its like time has taken a good high jump of two years and I am so lost trying to recollect stuff. Call it the Mommy Brain or my lazyness to register and store things, I seldom remember things I wanna do. Exciting times!!!!

I am trying to run a time lapse video of the last 2 yrs and its been just filled with running around Aditi(She’s my 15 month old). Fun, frustration, struggles, diaper changes, insomnia, weight gain, memory loss, revival of energy, enjoying being a mom with my mom, parents n in laws arrival and departure  and much more… thats like a whole good damn summary of my 2 years. Woooofffff!!! Exhaustion is the expression I related myself with, but I think thats pretty normal for anyone.

Life is different now… Ofcourse its what everyone who becomes a parent has to say. But trust me even admist all this exhaustion coming home to someone precious who greets u with a smile and a Hiiii is priceless and is like that instant kick you get from a sniff of dope.(Not that I have first hand experience in smoking pot, but I have heard real time experiences from people) Life feels new and age just a number.
Glad to know that my account exists and that i can recall my password. Its like me winning a lottery… I think my excuses of not finding time to write is more underlying issue of “Lack of time management” and the “legandary Laziness”… But well its a fresh start, and hopefully I can come up with better things to share.
Well may be its time I got a little more proactive and upbeat with the time I have.

FB is getting pretty boring and so damn monotonous and I need to explore better ways to utilize my precious “my time”.

Movies and lots of movies lined up for taking a mock at. I should say thats “Coming sooonnnnn…”

I see my friend Jai constantly keeping up with his interests via his blog which is so commendable.

Not going to review the post.. plain laziness(its another form)

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Recap 2012

Forgot I had a blog and when I visited it last!!!!!!

I see I had no posts for the year 2012.

What has been the reason for my long absence and snap comes the reply from the internal “me” – damn you have been sooper lazy this year and more obvious reason – things haven’t been so eventful that could make it to the social circuit.

My long absence has not only been from my blog but from various other things that had interested me long ago. I seldom laugh loud now which was once upon a time my signature expression, I am lost in thoughts that are totally shallow and zap reality sets in – are these the signs that I am getting old????

Unsure of why I am not anymore enthusiastic about myself, life and happenings around me… M I being

abnormal… Oh yeah definitely I am. And one of the reason I feel this way is probably my lack of adaptation to this place where in I no longer have the comfort zone of my friends I have known for years, the lack of seeing my parents who constantly nagged me for all that I did, the little get together with my family and so many more such pleasure that are totally missing admist the comfort of a phoren life. The tradeoffs have been bigger and quite expensive I assume.

Anyways whats been the highlights this year – My American job, Florida trip, A brief visit to India, Fall colors and lots of new people in my life.

Experience of working in the US is something I dont want to talk about, so I make a pass at that event of my life.

Florida, yet another state I got a chance to visit and I was glad to meet 2 of my sweet friends there who played our hosts as well. Reminded me of a “hep” Goa… The nightlife, disco, bling, beaches, adventures, sunset, sand, turquoise blue ocean, sun, topless car(yeah yeah the convertible) and warm breeze… That’s the whole summary of that amazing 4 day trip. Mann nahi bhara and I definitely wanna go there again, thats what I tell at the end of every trip.

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India… for a sooper short time and met lesser people than I had planned to.  Lots of changes in terms of roads, repairs and traffic, but then having my 2 wheeler as a companion just the answer to  those obstacles. My “Bumble bee” nickname for my Activa (yes very much inspired by the character in Transformers”) was the thrill this time. Met my new nephew Arnav (yes I am officially an aunt now from the maternal side as well) and all my cousins. Lots of happenings that I missed like their birthdays and cousins and friends weddings,and you really feel is living abroad really worth all this!!!!! Being away from my parents for the first time for so long and when I reached India I dint feel like going anywhere else.. there is no place like HOME and it hurts being away.

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Met my friends, dinner with them and a short ride in the pillion on my friend Jai’s new Bullet.. Oh man I loved that 5 minutes ride, that awesome sound of that machine and I was in love with the Royal Enfield:) That was one of the many take aways of that memorable trip. Wanted to shop, to eat gol gappas and dosas and much more and none of it happened!!!! SAD was what I was when I returned back…

Well colors of fall cheered my moods. Those bright yellows and oranges made me come off my blue… Bright shiny and vibrant, they made me feel alive again.

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Thats pretty much the saga of triumph, tones of blues, happiness, joy and experiences for the year 2012. A new year is just days away, and hope there is a different me on that side of a new beginning… I feel blessed to have hold onto my old friends, made new ones, being a part of new relationships and loving my dear and near ones…

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Is being born a girl an abomination?

This is a question that I dont ask myself but want to ask all those inhuman devils who murder and abolish the female fetus even before it takes its first breathe of air in this world, or a girl child that’s brutally destroyed and made non existent even before she reaches adolescence. It brings in rage, anger, anguish, pity, pain and so many more emotions when I read articles of this in newspapers, blogs and watch it on the television. I find it even more hard to believe that even in this so called Ultra Modern era, a girl child born in some parts of the world finds it difficult to find her existence and survive it out in the cruel world.

My mind boggles and it worries me internally why is the girl child hated so much by so many? What is it that makes us different from the male offspring? What makes them more superior, that they are yearned and desired so much? And, I find absolutely no answers! It probably could because of the way I interpret and see things – that I find men no mightier than the women.

The other day I saw a horrid picture of a female fetus thrown into a drain along with the placenta attached to it. It was a sight that I swear would never wanna see again in my life and it gave me shivers and jitters, not to mention many sleepless nights. The picture agitated me and made me grieve for the poor thing, and for many more such beautiful creatures of God that are disrespected and thrown away in drains, buried alive or even burnt alive. My heart goes out to those little ones who just arent allowed to see the first light of this world, and brings out my aggression and makes me furious against those mothers who let this happen to their own blood and tissue. Doesnt her conscience ever humiliate her for her action? Make her feel disgraceful and ashamed of the action? Or is she is so overpowered by her relatives that she forgets that she herself is a woman? God… how can someone be so barbaric and brutal to an innocent little child and punish her for no fault or offense.

I hear educated folks craving and wanting for their yet to be born child to be a boy, such is a society of ours! Makes me feel lucky to be born and raised by parents who dint care for these old school thoughts and nurtured me without implanting any thoughts of discrimination that could make me feel inferior to my male counterparts. To this day, I personally know families that rejoice and feel top of the world to have had male heirs and sulk when a girl child is born. Why these double standards? Why this injustice even in this age when men and women are treated as equals and must I frame it more appropriately – when men and women are equals.

The male to female ratio in many states in India is reaching marks that is very worrying, alarming and needs concrete action and heads up. There could be a time when men would outnumber the women creating an imbalance that will take decades and centuries to correct. I really pray that people stop being foolishly smitten by conservative and absolutely baseless sh** induced into their heads from generations and generations. Its the demand of time that girl child be let to live in this world, as the world is as much hers as its yours and mine. If we do not stop female infanticide and female feticide now, the future generations will face consequences that cant be accessed nor can be fought against.

It will be a plague for which the entire human race will pay a heavy price – this isnt an warning but a prophecy.

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Sporadic

No specific subject just passing thoughts, questions, my views and my way of seeing things. Its been quite a long absence from my blog and reasons for it have been several. My laziness tops them all followed by my inability to concentrate and think of a subject on which I wanna write. Many topics flash but just that none make it to the ms word. And so I thought why not pen a kaleidoscope of various things that I had been wanting to write but couldn’t make one single blog.

Like a new trend of movies where they show multiple stories and weave them like beads in one thread, I tried to give the same a shot. Need to see how’s the response from my couple of readers gonna be???? 🙂

Piracy

This is my most recent topic of interest when I heard one of the newly released movie’s producer jailing someone for piracy. And then my brain started taking its course on this not so relevant topic, and I asked for myself why Piracy? Yes I watch movies online that surely are not the legal copies, and enjoy them no matter how bad the print is. Let it be blurred, let it have visions of people buying popcorns, seeing someone enter the theater late in the movie, see numerous shadows, added soundtracks of whistles, claps, hootings, children crying, seeing people get up and move around, and also see the constantly shaking camera never focused on the screen. I do because I feel that it’s not worth paying Rs.100 – 350 for a movie and watch it in a theater. I am a ordinary person and it pinches me to spend so much for movie tickets and an extra Rs.70 – 100 on extra fillings like popcorn and drinks. This was my situation in Bangalore, where there are either multiplexes or tents. There is nothing for an ordinary middle class – upper middle class, and yes I feel its expensive and ridiculous. Why will the aam janata in Bangalore want to spend so much for a 3 hrs of entertainment when he can possibly take his family out for a lunch with the same amount that he pays for a ticket?

In contrast to this city like Hyderabad has awesome theaters with AC and dolby digital sound system for just Rs.40 per ticket for balcony. This is the highest in a theater and the lowest price can go upto Rs 10 for benches. This means that anyone from a auto rickshaw driver to a beggar to middle class and upper middle class families can enjoy movies in a theater with their entire family and still feel good about it.  I haven’t been to any other city and so cant comments or compare it to Bangalore. Bangalore has become a hub only for multiplexes and seems like it caters only to IT Professional who earns a bomb every month. So I feel that the lack of infrastructure is a reason for people like me to opt for Pirated version of movies. I too am an IT professional and it surely hurts my pocket when I have to shell close to 400 Rs for a ticket.  We go to shows that start at 10 to get tickets on discounted prices. By the way some theaters which screen only one show and are in the center of the city charge no less that in the Multiplex. Basically the trend I see is that single theaters have washed away giving way to the new age Multiplexes.

My view – Multiplex owners make the prices low and u will earn more profits.

The determination guilt

The other day I was in the gym panting and puffing my heart on the treadmill, gasping for some oxygen and profusely sweating, and just on the other treadmill was an old man, about 60 – 65 yrs of age speeding on the machine at the same speed as me and being completely normal. Not a sign of tiredness did I spot and he just went on and on with complete focus unlike me who kept taking regular long breaks. I timed him and saw that he ran for about 30 min non-stop at close to 5.5 mph and stopped only after the 30 min session was completed. I was wonder stuck and wanted to know what energy drink he was having so that I could try out the same. And then we spoke, he said – “Hi”, in reply I said a “Hi” with my voice hardly audible in between of the sooper loud panting. I said – “You have a great stamina”. He said quite slowly, wiping his sweat – “Thanks, it comes with practice”. Now I got curious and that time my tongue hardly stays in my mouth – I bounced back asking – how do u do that? What’s the mantra? He gave a smile – which I interpreted as you Indians are so so curious about knowing things and trying to see how you could copy it… He said – “I have a goal, and treat myself everytime I reach it.” Now it got me even more excited and curious to know what was the goal and more than that what was the treat.. . He said – “If I go to the gym and do a 30 min exercise for 3 days continuously, I treat myself on the end of the 3rd day with a glass of wine, or a pastry, or even an awesome dinner. This way I keep myself motivated and on the goal. I then take a day off and start my next 3 day regime. This goes on and I have been doing it for sometime.”  I was totally impressed and seemed like a simple plan of execution that was achievable. The treat was always a bonus and you could measure your progress in ur goal that way. The key was self-motivation along with determination, which was completely absent in my case. He was nice enough to also add – “Start slow and then make it vigorous when you feel comfortable”. I was all boosted up and decided to do the same, but till day my regime has never gone on 3 days continuous. I treat myself once the 2nd day is done and 3rd day I bunk, and then get totally irregular. But now I am back again, to follow, cos I feel that we all have our days of laziness, but we should stretch it too much, it then becomes a lifestyle .

I am working on it now and I am sure I will succeed. What I really learned that day was most Americans have determination for achieving somethings, following some practices which they follow no matter what the consequence may be, and sense of strong will power. I am not idolizing them but I appreciate a few things about them.

I now feel I think different, more positive than before and more focused. It was a day I might hardly forget.

Strangers and Voyages

During my numerous visits to various parts of America, I have met several strangers – people with whom I have talked out of the blue, shared contact details and become friends, and with others, got to hear the various agonies and experiences of their lives without even knowing their names. When I am reminded of those moments it just feels beautiful to listen to someone for hours not asking them their names and bidding good byes with pleasant smiles.

But the people I have met and talked to on these instances have been elderly people, who I assume just want someone to hear to them, and probably their children are no longer interested in their talks. I met a Vietnam war veteran in Seven Falls Colorado, a beautiful couple on the return train journey  from Niagra, girls from Russia in Aspen and so many more. Friendly and absolutely not hesitant of sharing their thoughts.  Such people leave a mark in your life and make your journey more memorable as its not only the places you have seen you recollect but the people you met during these adventures that make it more eventful and interesting.

Looking ahead for many more such journeys and many more beautiful people to meet up.

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Flicks that click

My top picks of absolute favs that I love watching any time, any day and any number of times. For those who have an opinion after reading the blog that these are not ur favs, two words – “Buzz Off”. These are the movies that I relate with some day in the past or some kind of an instance it reminds me of my innumerable crushes, infatuations, confusions, beautiful days with friends and Adi etc etc etc 😉 Smokyyyyyyyyy….Mostly moments that have passed on and emotions that have lasted..

Well I have other bigger lists which I think I will jot down someother day, but for now these are the ones that flash in my brain.I have marked them pretty randomly so no particular sequence or order here. I dint want to write the story line of it cos thats not wht I intend to do. It just contains a synopsis of what I relate to when I see the movie.

  • Dil chahta hain – Its like a cocktail – sweetness of romance, tang of friendship, blast of fun, and this is one perfect movie I am sure most love. It just peps up the mood and fills in happiness indescribable.
  • P.S. I love you – You know what you havent valued when it was with you until you lose it. This movie portrays this emotion so finely and yet sticks in your mind the awe of romance. Gerald butler’s voice is sooooooooo yum… Like a chocolate bar filled with nuts 🙂 hmmm falling short of comparison actually… Love the striptease he does and the background music is more like the catalyst to the whole mood of this movie.
  • 27 dresses Absolute Chick flick, and I loved the hero. Somehow its a “feel good” factor movie, for some strange reason it appears on my list
  • A walk to remember – Plain, simple and yet impactful.
  • The Ugly truth – Now this is the movie I call pervert comedy. A complete entertainer, like a Cracker.
  • Lakshya – Cant decide if its Hrithik or the way the story was portrayed that I love the most abt this movie. Both I guess… But I luvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv this movie.
  • Gone with the wind – Long very long, yet beautifully made.
  • Behind enemy lines, Saving Private Ryan – Oh… these movies are fantastic, the “guys love” kind of a movie. I like Black hawk down of the similar genre. Adreline rush, keeping u hooked all the time.
  • Forrest Gump – I think its my best pick in the whole series. Never have I got bored seeing this movie, everytime it feels like its my first time. Refreshing as cuppa Coffee.
  • Kuch Kuch hota hain – I loveeeeeeeee this movie, cos of so many reasons one being – Kajol plays the character that has my name. Just kidding, I think I love it for some scenes that I personally like – the dance in the rain, the song – “Tujhe yaad na meri aayi”, so many more…
  • Paa – no dishum dishum & can easily make you cry. Elements of emotion, romance, witty, comedy all in all.
  • Hangover – This movie gives me a hangover everytime I watch it. i feel like I have been on a super roller coaster ride as I watch this movie. An absolute Timepass and a slapstick 🙂
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Americanised…

Howdyyyyyyyyyyyyyy….Its finally time for me to jot down some of my terrible changed lifestyles after being in the US. Well now those who think I am yappying off can continue to do so, cos you have no idea what it is to live in a country where you just cant fantasize about Indian food and think yeah lets go to that Darshini near our home and binge out on those lovely idlis, cutneys, dosas etc…  You will just see the downside of all that very soon…

So lets start this incredible post with how my day begins… My breakfast… Hmmm now if I was back home, I wouldn’t take a second look on those amazingly designed colourful well stacked cartons in a supermarket that claim to be an Ideal breakfast… But here as ironic as it may seem the CORNFLAKES turns out to be my everyday breakfast and even lunch on my sooper lazy days. Just imagine being kickstarting yourday with cornflakes swimming in a cup of white milk, and with addons of Strawberries or nuts or honey oats or vanilla and so on and so forth, and you just think wish there was masala dosa instead. Freakkkyyyyy.. Yes it is, and that’s where you slowly start adapting to the American lifestyle. You don’t realize the change that something u hated back home is turning out to be ur life jacket 🙂 Yukkkkkkkkkkk… I just fantasize about the dosas and the vadas as I take a scoop of my source of vitamins and fibres that claim I could loose 6 Pounds in 2 weeks… How inspiring!!!! Oh yeah you did u notice this – you forget the kilos and all you know is the pounds and ounces, litre displaced by Gallons, kms by miles and you know you have caught on the American bug 😉

Well discussed a lot on food, now lets get onto another terminology that I horribly hate here. We are called “Desis” by our own race. Towers of Sarcasm… I just cant understand why are we desis??? I mean we call someone a desi, this is back home – someone who must be from some long lost rural village that might take even Google sometime to locate on the Indian map, and we call Indians from cosmopolitans cities of India as “Desis”. Sorry but I kind of hate that word. And what I hate even more is f****** accent we try and put up after coming to America. Come on guys we have a decent accent don try to make it all weird. Its torturous to even hear some bloody junkie recruiter trying to put up a hideous accent and talk to you. She acts as if her 7 generations has lived and toiled around in America. I think we loose it all when we come here… We pretend to be Americanised…

Now let me touch upon the topic of shopping, this is my fav part where I have done a Ph D you can say on how we shop… Back home we wudnt step into a seconds sale or even a discounted sale. How many of us have really gone to a seconds Sale or a discounted sale until and unless its not Levi’s or Pepe or Nike that’s announcing it in a small little article in some news paper. Here on the contrary we turn out to shopping here only when there are discounts. Here the discounts happen in funny ways and you shop in funny ways as well. We bring winter clothing in peak summers cos they are on discounts. Yes they are cheap and more than they being cheap they fit our budget which is most important. We buy summer clothing in peak winters, this is the shopping mantra in the US. Offseason clothes for cheap and discounted rates. You are never choosy about the clothes here if they are on discounts, no matter what the color or the size we are ready to steal the bargain. Best thing is we buy smaller size clothes with the upright optimism that we may shrink down eating all the salads and cornflakes, which as usual never happens, cos beer is cheaper as well 🙂 Am I being totally crappy head now, well may be but that’s what our psychology and our views become when we come here. And like I said before some traits of our roots don’t just vanish. Like Russell Peters said in one of his acts – “We are cheap man and there is nothing wrong in admitting it”. And may be this is one of the reasons that we have managed to survive out in this really costly country where a plain black coffee is more than 50 bucks. We might be the first ones in line for a Black Friday sale (ofcourse Americans also wait for it for the whole year) or any sale for that matter 🙂 Its in our DNA… Just that they wait to buy a LCD TV or lawn mower and we wait to buy a laptop or even a GPS or colored printer 😉

And we become all health conscious after we come here. You can see women of all ripened ages hitting on the threadmill to get all toned and look sassy… And there are some chicks like me too 😉 who are absolutely jobless and don have better things to do who also end  up for some free tv watching as we burn some of those ghee calories. One more thing I have noticed is that we don really socialize well with fellow Indians. I have hesitated to talk to someone I see and we act so pricy, with full on attitudes like “I don’t care and like to be alone”. Well why do I hesitate? I did some analysis on myself and found that I do cos I see only ladies with kids around and I want someone of my age group (whatever that means…). Well trying hard to cope up with things here, but its actually quite an insight to how we behave in Foreign countries 🙂 Its been an wholesome new experience and may be I will share more when I happen bounce on somemore… But for now this is it about my process of dealing with my own Americanisation… Cheersssssssssssss…

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